Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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