He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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