am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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