i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
