All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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