I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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