you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
