I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
