Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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