He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
