I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
