i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
