as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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