dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
soo... how was my night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
