The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
