so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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