me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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