she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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