Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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