i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
