no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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