I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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