laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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