Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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