Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
