We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
