Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
