I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
