My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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