Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
