and she was petting her beer can
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
