i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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