Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
