Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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