fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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