not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You can't motorboat a personality
My Higher Power is John Stamos
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
