Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
