Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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