I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
