At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
