Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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