I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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