covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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