ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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