I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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