whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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