Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
