I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
