dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
as a side note pls kill me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
