Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The beer is more important than you right now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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