i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
