I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
