He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
