Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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