Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
