Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You smell like stripper and shame
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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