Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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