TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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