she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
