the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
