I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize