Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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