No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
