Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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