when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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