he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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