She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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