you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
