filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
