yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
