I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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