Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You took a bar mat shot.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
