Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My feet surprised me
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