Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
