Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
