is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
