I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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